


It's "The Motherfucking World Is Unbearable" Art

by mccolfer



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Probably ooc, spoiler warning for every season of rpdr, this started out as a crack fic then turned kind of serious, you won't enjoy this if u don't watch drag race
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccolfer/pseuds/mccolfer
Summary: Now that Isak is a full time homosexual with a steady boyfriend and everything, Eskild is excited to force him to watch RuPaul's Drag Race without his masculinity getting in the way. Things get out of hand pretty fast as it turns out everyone loves drag queens and fake drama.Or, the boy squad watching RuPaul's Drag Race fic that literally no one asked for.





	It's "The Motherfucking World Is Unbearable" Art

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for a very niche group of people who watch Skam and also Rupaul's Drag Race. It all started when I saw that some drag queens were going to be in Oslo. I thought "I hope Isak and Even go..." and then I thought "Who would they want to win season 9? Isak would probably root for Trinity because she's so technically good but Even would love Sasha's personality and heart. Who would the rest of them like?" and I just spiraled from there. I almost added the girl squad to this but I thought it would be too many characters. Check the end notes to see the full headcanons I had for which queens the boys would like, if that interests you.
> 
> I just want to say, the amount of research I did for this borderline crack fic is ridiculous. I was desperately trying to figure out if Norway even airs RPDR on TV and then I downloaded Hola just so I could look at Norwegian Netflix and see what seasons they had on there. I don't know when exactly Netflix posts an episode, but I knew they had the most recent one so I assumed it was the next day like Hulu? Correct me if you're someone from Norway who watches the show. 
> 
> Title from Sasha's verse in [C.L.A.T.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0o0PK7AXFE) because that's one of the only worthwhile drag queen songs and um #TeamSasha.

**Saturday 14.1.17**

“Isak!” Eskild exclaimed, as if seeing Isak in the kitchen of their shared apartment was a surprise. “My son, my protege, my baby gay, the-”

“Get on with it, Eskild.” Isak stopped him, fond but still annoyed at the older man for interrupting his kitchen make out session with his boyfriend.

Eskild pursed his lips, refusing to continue his thought if Isak was going to be so rude.

“What he means,” Even said, looking pointedly at his boyfriend, “is ‘Yes Eskild? My father and respected guru?’ Right, babe?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “Sure.” He’d agree with anything to get this conversation over with so he could return to kissing his boyfriend.

“Now that you’re A Gay…” Isak was going to pull a muscle rolling his eyes this hard. “Are you finally going to agree to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with me? The new season is starting in March.”

Simultaneously, Isak groaned in disdain and Even gasped in delight.

“He better be!” Even exclaimed, detaching himself from his boyfriend, pushing him away and glaring at him for groaning. “No boyfriend of mine is going to disrespect the queen of the world herself, RuPaul.”

Isak’s mouth dropped open, “Just because I’m all out and proud now doesn’t mean I’m about to dive headfirst into the homosexual deep end.”

Both Eskild and Even rolled their eyes.

“Um, the eyeroll is my thing, you guys can’t use it against me.”

“Isak,” Eskild said, exasperated, “It’s not just a gay thing, it’s literally just an entertaining show.”

“Yeah,” Even agreed, moving closer to Eskild and further away from Isak. “Straight men would have better lives if they could just let go of their toxic masculinity for an hour or so a week to enjoy some good drag and catty gays fighting each other.”

“I just don’t get what the hype is all about.” Isak frowned, not enjoying the guilt tripping. “I’m not even into fashion or makeup or anything, why would I care?”

“It’s so much _more_ than that, Issy.” Eskild implored. “You should at least give it a try before you go around rolling your eyes at it.”

Isak stood in silence for a while as Eskild and Even started talking about their favorite drag queens. He made a mental note to look up this Katya person when Even started passionately ranting about how she was robbed.

* * *

**Friday 20.1.17**

No one could ever say that Isak Valtersen was a bad boyfriend. The moment Even left their apartment, which was something that rarely happened these days, Isak opened his laptop to do some research. He was surprised to find there was 8 seasons of the show, and 2 All-Stars seasons. Luckily, Netflix had seasons 2-6 available to stream.

About 12 hours later, after watching the entire second season in one night, Isak sent a very heated text to Even at around 5 in the morning.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAVEN DOESN’T WIN WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT??? TYRA?????? OVER RAVEN???? WHAT IS GOING ON EVEN”

He was practically fuming as the end credits rolled, and he clicked immediately to start the third season. Isak didn’t need sleep, he needed a satisfying winner.

Unfortunately, his body seemed to decide that sleep was, in fact, vital to his survival, and he passed out somewhere between episodes 3 and 4 of season 3. He woke up around 12 to a pounding on his locked door.

“Isak! You open up right now! You are _not_ watching Drag Race without us!”

Soon after, Isak found himself cuddled up between his boyfriend and Eskild on one of the living room couches, as the show streamed on the television in front of them. Even Linn had emerged from her depression cave to watch with them, wrapped completely in a blanket on the other couch.

Oddly, he was kind of enjoying himself. He liked hearing the inspiring stories that the men had to tell and even found himself getting into the technicalities of drag. He felt completely satisfied when Raja won season 3.

“Thank fuck it was someone that actually deserved it.”

“Yeah, I mean, I would have preferred Manila,” Even shrugged, “but Raja is definitely a respectable queen.”

“Raja’s drag is just so well executed.” Isak went on, “I mean, Manila is nice and all but she didn’t have that many looks that really impressed me.”

“The show isn’t all about the drag though, it’s about having charisma too.” Even argued. “Raja is nice enough, but sometimes she was a little stuck up on the show and I was a little put off by it.”

“She has every right to be stuck up though, she’s amazing at what she does.”

“Okay, Issy.” Eskild teased, “Two seasons of Drag Race and suddenly you’re an expert.”

* * *

**Saturday 21.1.17**

Isak didn't know what had gotten into him. Usually he wasn't big on binge-watching shows, but he felt like he physically couldn't stop watching Drag Race. He's lucky Even forced them all to go to bed at a relatively reasonable hour, 2 in the morning.

But then the three of them were ready to keep watching just the next morning, and well into the afternoon, after ordering a pizza.

“Ooh!” Eskild said with his mouth full. “Is the boat episode next?”

On cue, Netflix announced that in 15 seconds it would be playing the episode titled Float Your Boat.

“Yas!”

Isak never in his life thought he'd ever hear anyone say “yas” in real life so much, but here he was.

“This is my bitch Willam’s episode!” Eskild all but shouted. “I love my queen, the best woman.”

“Doesn't she get kicked off the show?” Isak asked, turning to Even. He already kind of knew the outcome for every season, not much was a total surprise for him.

“Yeah but it was on purpose!” Eskild immediately jumps to defend. “She's an actress. She totally worked it out with the producers that she would break the rules and they could get publicity off the drama of it all.”

“That… makes sense actually.” Even shrugged.

“She totally could have won if she wanted to.”

“But _Sharon_.” Even frowned.

Eskild grimaced in reply.

“I know she's an asshole _now_ , but she was so good then.”

“Just because you have a hard on for every weird queen.” Eskild said, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “Do you think Milk should have won season 6 too?”

“Shut up!” Even said, throwing a couch pillow at the older man. “She should have made it further than she did and you know it!”

“I'm the future of drag!” Eskild quoted in English.

On the television, RuPaul was talking about Pride, and the thought of it made Isak’s stomach churn with nerves. He thought about that day he shit talked gay pride to Eskild almost every day. The fact that he was so scared and ignorant that he wanted to take away this wonderful thing from someone like _Eskild_.

Isak coughed awkwardly, “I have to go to the bathroom. You guys don't have to pause it.”

“Nonsense, we've seen it before, we'll wait for you.” Even said, reaching over to tap the spacebar on Isak’s laptop.

So much for that plan.

Isak made his way to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. He braced himself against the counter, trying to collect himself.

Everything was fine. Eskild had forgiven him for what he said a long time ago, and he understood why Isak had said those things. No one was mad at him for needing some time to get used to things.

It was just scarier now, because they're sitting there watching RuPaul’s Drag Race together. Did Eskild expect more of him now? Oh god, what if he brought up Oslo Pride? Isak didn't even know if he'd be confident enough to go. What if he and Even broke up by then?

In his pocket, Isak’s phone vibrated. It was a message from Even.

“You good?”

Isak smiled down at his phone. Then more messages came.

“You could just be pooping

But I kind of felt like something else was wrong???

Sorry if I'm being overdramatic”

He snorted at the three consecutive anxiety texts. Even never had trouble expressing his feelings, it was something Isak was especially jealous of.

“I’m fine you nerd I got distracted looking at my phone”

He looked himself in the mirror. It was still the same person that was always there. The same person who clung to his father’s leg on the first day of school. The same person who found a friend in Jonas and decided to keep him forever. The same person who dated Sara in the 10th grade. The same person who was in love with a boy now.

“He returns!” Even exclaimed when Isak made his way back to the living room. Isak pressed play on the computer then took his seat next to his boyfriend. Even quickly kissed his cheek, giving him a once over, as if to make sure Isak was okay.

And he was. They watched the episode without a hitch. Eskild quoting Willam’s every word and constantly repeating how she was an “iconic legend”.

Isak felt his heart clench when they started talking about Stonewall and what it was like coming out in their family environments. But it was kind of in a good way. It made Isak want to ask Eskild about his experiences. Maybe being gay actually was something Isak could connect to and be proud of.

That was a nice thought.

* * *

**Sunday 29.1.17**

Before Isak knew it, there was no more RuPaul’s Drag Race to watch. He watched all Netflix had to offer and then even went out of his way to find lower quality streaming versions of the rest of the seasons. He was even starting to think in English terms, getting more to used to hearing it instead of his native language.

After watching Alaska win her well deserved All Stars crown, he felt like a different person. He was brimming with energy, eager to talk about the show and his opinions. When he heard the front door of the apartment opening, he jumped up from his bed.

“Eskild, you’re home!” He wanted to smack himself for sounding so fucking excited.

The older man looked bemused, then smug as he hung up his jacket. “Yes, my baby son?”

“Umm…” Isak hesitated, not wanting to embarrass himself even further. Then he decided, fuck it, Eskild was going to find a way to embarrass him eventually anyway. “I finished All Stars 2.”

“Ooh! Yaaas!” Eskild squealed, “You want to talk about how Katya got Ravened?”

Isak frowned, “What do you mean?”

“She got robbed twice,” Eskild explained.

“No, I know what you mean by Ravened.” Isak shook his head, furrowing his brow in disbelief. “You didn’t think Alaska deserved to win?”

“Well, she did… but Katya did too.” Eskild shrugged, “And I would have rather it been her.”

“I don’t know... I just kind of wish Katya had won season 7 like she was supposed to so we wouldn’t have to choose between her and Alaska.”

“Alaska was acting like such a cold professional bitch the whole time.” Eskild grimaced. “She was like a totally different person than she was in season 5. Then she tried to act like she wasn’t being biased towards Rolaskatox even though Roxxxy was in the bottom like every episode and never went home.”

“I think she just really wanted it.” Isak defended, “You can’t blame her for taking the competition seriously.”

Isak ended up staying up much later than he intended talking about Drag Race with Eskild. The only reason he ended up going to bed was because he realized it was one in the morning and he had school in a couple hours.

“Isak.” Eskild said as Isak started tiredly making his way to his room.

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.” He said with an almost unsettling amount of sincerity for Eskild.

Isak kind of wanted to pretend he didn’t know what he was talking about, but instead he just nodded. He gave Eskild the smallest smile before turning back around to walk to his room.

* * *

**Monday 30.1.17**

The next day at lunch, Isak was almost falling asleep as he held down their usual table for the rest of the boys.

“Hey babe.” Isak jumped as he suddenly heard Even speak in his ear. His boyfriend just laughed at his misery as Isak glared. “Up too late watching drag queens?”

Isak looked down, he was far too right.

“Oh my god, you were!” Even gasped, grinning like an idiot as he fondly hit Isak’s arm. “Did you finish it?”

“Just watched the last episode of All Stars 2 last night.”

Even pulled out a chair next to Isak and moved it as close to Isak’s chair as possible. He plopped down onto it and threw a casual arm around Isak’s shoulders.

“Let’s discuss Katya’s second robbery.”

“I don’t get why you and Eskild both think that.” Even gasped in offense but Isak kept talking, “I mean, she’s great, but Alaska totally deserved the crown in the end.”

“Katya deserved it just as much! And her character development was way more endearing than Alaska’s.” Even pouted. “She went from being an anxious mess all of season 7 to actually letting go of some of her self-doubt for once.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jonas asked as he approached the table, Mahdi and Magnus trailing close behind.

“Nothing.” Isak answered perhaps too quickly. All the boys, including Even, looked at him incredulously. Then all simultaneously decided to just leave it.

“I’m gonna go get some food.” Jonas said, headed towards the line.

“Ditto.” Mahdi said in English as he joined him.

Magnus whined, “I haven’t eaten all day. Can one of you buy me something? I have no money.”

The three boys walked away, leaving Isak and Even alone again.

“What was that all about?” Even asked softly.

“It’s not that deep.” Isak said, gesturing towards how he was comfortably tucked up under Even’s arm. “I’m cool with being… you know… _gay_. It’s not about that. It’s just like, I don’t want them to think…”

“Isak,” Even cut him off, seeing that his boyfriend was only going to ramble on and end up embarrassing himself. “It’s fine. I get it.” He rubbed Isak’s shoulder comfortingly, pulling him impossibly closer.

Isak smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to Even’s cheek. He hadn’t exactly gotten over his anxiety about PDA yet, but he was making an effort.

“Katya _was_ robbed twice though.”

Isak opened his mouth to argue, but stopped when he saw the boys coming back. He glared at Even, knowing he did this on purpose. Even’s smug grin was only further proof.

* * *

**Thursday 2.2.17**

It’s pretty sad that Isak wasn’t even that mad when Eskild burst into his room just as Even was about to stick his hand down Isak’s pants. It was almost expected by now, he just rolled his eyes.

“Thank god you’re both here!” Eskild shouted, holding his phone excitedly out in front of him. He sat on the bed, knowing full well he was killing two boners. He had no remorse, the sociopath. “The Meet The Queens videos for season 9 have been posted!”

Both Isak and Even immediately forgot their boners. Even grabbed Eskild’s phone, on it was the Rupaul’s Drag Race Instagram page, showing the thirteen queens expected for the new season.

Isak reached for his laptop on the floor, opening it up to find the videos. They critically watched all thirteen awkward Meet The Queens videos, trying to figure out who they were going to root for once the season came.

“It’s a good thing you practically live here, Even.” Eskild said after about an hour of discussion. “Noora and Linn never got as into Drag Race as I did. I need someone to talk to about it.” He winked as he practically skipped out of Isak’s room.

“We’re gonna have to get our own place.” Isak said, “He’ll never leave us alone now.”

“Do you mean that?” Even asked, completely serious.

Isak frowned, “Yeah, I mean… he’s gonna want to talk about it all the time while it’s on. He wouldn’t shut up during All Stars 2, I never even knew what he was talking about but Rolaskatox was a household name around here.”

“Not that, you idiot.” Even scoffed, “I mean about getting our own place.”

“Oh.” Isak hadn’t really realized he said that. But he found he didn’t dislike the idea. It seemed almost logical, since Even did spend a lot of his time at the Kollektivet, and Noora was out stuck sleeping on the couch most nights since Isak took her room.

“I mean, it’s not that serious.” Even backtracked when Isak was silent for a while, subtly shrinking into himself. “We don’t even have to think about that right now, if you don’t want to.”

“No!” Isak exclaimed, a little louder than he intended. He lowered his voice as he continued. “No, we could… start looking for places, if you want. We can find somewhere closer to that film school you were thinking of applying to.”

Even smiled fondly at his boyfriend, licking his own lips quickly before pressing a fleeting kiss to Isak’s. “You really think we’re gonna make it through the inevitable dramatic year where I’m in university and you’re still in high school?” He teased.

Isak grinned dopily, “I think we’ll make it through anything if we try hard enough.” His tone was serious, “And I’m definitely always willing to try my hardest for you.”

Turns out Eskild wasn’t a _permanent_ boner killer.

* * *

**Tuesday 21.2.17**

Between looking for apartments and waiting for season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race to premiere, Isak found himself particularly on edge throughout most of February. It didn’t help that he was also wracked with guilt over the fact that he hadn’t even told Eskild he was planning on moving out yet.

Though it was hard for him to openly admit it, Eskild was kind of one of the most important people in Isak’s life. He was annoying as hell and had no respect for personal boundaries and sometimes pushed Isak right to his limits, but without him, Isak didn’t know where he’d be.

Probably wallowing in his own depression as he tried to take care of his sick mother alone after driving all his friends away with his negative attitude. Or worse, he could have gotten picked up by one of those creepy old men at that gay bar Eskild found him wasted out of his mind at.

Isak shuddered at the thought of his past self’s terrible decisions.

Eskild was that extra push that Isak needed to learn to accept himself for who he was. Once Isak started happily dating Even, he found that loving yourself was actually kind of nice. Instead of feeling scared when he kissed Even in school, he felt _liberated_. If it wasn’t for Eskild, who knows how long it would have taken Isak to accept himself enough to hold another boy’s hand in public.

But telling Eskild all this was another story entirely. When Isak talked to Even about it, his boyfriend insisted that Eskild would definitely love to hear all that.

“But he’ll never shut up about it.” Isak groaned, “Like when he finally got me to call him my guru.”

Even laughed at him, “If I know you, I know you’ll regret it if you never tell him.”

Even _did_ know him, and he was right. As he, unfortunately, usually was in situations like this. But that didn’t make telling the older man any easier.

It all came to fruition the day Isak told Noora that she was going to get her room back because Isak and Even had found a cheap flat in Oslo. Isak thought that Eskild had been in the shower and wouldn’t hear the conversation.

“Just don’t tell Eskild, okay?” Isak was saying to Noora. Her eyes suddenly went wide and Isak’s head whipped around to see a naked and wet Eskild standing dramatically at the doorway to the kitchen.

“I heard my name…” He said, casually with a twinge of hurt, as if he wasn’t completely naked and dripping water onto the carpet. “Are you moving out?”

“Yeah, um, Even and I found a place.” Isak replied, guiltily. “We should be out by early April, probably around spring break.”

“Fine. Cool.” Eskild said harshly, clearly not fine or cool. He turned on his heel and Isak tried to ignore as his flaccid dick swung dramatically with him.

“Great.” Isak said sarcastically to Noora as he heard the bathroom door slam.

* * *

**Friday 24.2.17**

“He hasn't talked to me in three days.” Isak whined into Even’s chest. When Eskild first started giving Isak the silent treatment, he'd rolled his eyes and figured his roommate was just being dramatic and he'd get over it. Then it was three days later and Eskild was jumping through hoops to avoid speaking to Isak. “Yesterday he asked Noora to yell at me for eating his chips. I only ate them because I wanted _him_ to yell at me.”

“I'm sorry, baby.” Even said sympathetically, rubbing Isak’s back. They were cuddled together in Even’s bed, which was significantly less homey than Isak’s for some reason. But Isak had wanted to get out of his flat for a bit. “You know what will make you feel better?”

Isak hummed in response, still pressed into Even’s chest.

“UNHhhh.”

“Um, what?” Isak frowned, pulling away from Even to look at him.

“Katya and Trixie’s YouTube show?” Even gasped. “You fake fan, Isak Valtersen.”

Isak resented being called a fake fan, he'd just binge watched the entire show in less than a month. “Excuse me if i don't know everything about a show I just started watching.”

“Do you not even know about Alyssa’s Secret? Issy, you'd _love_ Raja and Raven’s fashion review show. You can talk all you want about the technicalities of drag without considering the personality of the queen.”

Even grabbed his laptop and opened up YouTube, “Ooh, you’ll love this babe.” He assured, “Trixie and Katya reviewing Raven and Raja’s looks from their YouTube show!”

“I guess I get the Katya hype.” Isak admitted a bit reluctantly after laughing his ass off to several UNHhhh videos.

“You _guess_?”

“She's got a great personality but you have to admit her looks were always hit or miss on the show.”

“Isak. The shark leg look. The Abraham Lincoln look. The stewardess look. The synchronized swimmer look. The satanic reveal look. Th-”

“Yes, those are all hits, but there's several times where she just came out in a boring dress with a boring blonde wig!”

“Being a drag queen is about more than looks! It's about being an entertainer and having a personality!”

“Yeah but as nice as you are, you still should look sickening!”

“Oh, sickening, huh?”

Isak blushed, “Shut up. This show is going to my head.”

“Soon you'll be letting Eskild do your makeup so we can go to Pride together this summer.”

Isak’s grin fell at the mention of his roommate.

“I'm sorry, Issy.” Even pulled him into a comforting hug. “You should just talk to him, even if he doesn't respond.”

* * *

**Tuesday 28.2.17**

“Um, Eskild?” Isak asked hesitantly as he hovered in the doorway to the living room. Eskild didn't even turn his eyes away from the television. He’d been giving Isak the silent treatment for an entire week now, much to everyone else’s disdain. “Do you want to watch Untucked with me? I haven't watched any of it.”

If there was one thing Eskild couldn't turn down, it was an excuse to watch a bunch of drag queens yell at each other.

“Fine.” He said, the first word he'd said to Isak in days. He watched silently as Isak set up his computer to play on the television.

Isak went to YouTube to start playing season 7 of Untucked, knowing Eskild would love it the most. They made it through one entire episode without speaking, and the playlist just went automatically to the next one.

Then half the second episode went by before Isak finally decided to speak up while Ginger was attacking Trixie’s look in order to defend hers.

“She's right, if Trixie has to explain the look to her, does it really work?”

Eskild immediately shot a glare at Isak, opening his mouth to speak, then closing it. “That's a low blow, Isak. Using my bias against me in a cheap attempt to get me to talk.”

“It was worth a shot?”

Eskild gave no response.

“Eskild.” Isak sighed, “Alright, well at least if you're ignoring me, I can actually talk without you interrupting me. I just... didn't want to tell you I was moving out because I knew you were all excited about having me finally be out and you having another gay dude around to be gay with and stuff.”

That was definitely not the entire reason, but Isak was still a little scared of fully opening up and telling Eskild everything. It was hard for him to open up to _anyone_. He had years of emotional suppression on his shoulders, because boys aren't supposed to have feelings.

“Oh, shut up!” Eskild fumed. “Do you really think I'm that selfish? That I'm ignoring you because I'm losing a gay friend? I have plenty of gay friends. I'm upset that you told everyone else before me, and then told them not to tell me! What did you think I’d really do when you told me?” Eskild’s voice was getting faster and faster as he ranted. “Cling to your leg and not let you leave? Did you seriously think I wouldn't be excited and proud of you? Moving out with your steady boyfriend? Like, fuck, Isak!”

On the television, Katya was talking about having to lip sync for her life. Eskild was breathing heavily in his anger. On the other couch, Isak nervously bit his lip.

“Okay, fine. The real reason I didn't tell you was because I knew if I did, I'd have to have a heart to heart with you and I'm still scared of having feelings, okay?”

“...What?” Eskild clearly was not expecting that response.

Isak rolled his eyes, “You're _important_ to me, Eskild. You kind of saved my life. Without you, I couldn't even dream of being at the level of self-acceptance that I'm at now.” Isak’s eyes were fixed firmly on the television, watching as Katya slayed Sasha Belle, and definitely not meeting Eskild’s gaze. “I'm really grateful for you and everything you've taught me, and probably everything you'll continue to teach me.” He finally turned to look at the older man, both of them were tearing up. “Thank you, Eskild.”

“That's the gayest thing I think you've ever said, Issy.” They both burst into laughter. “I'm gonna hug you now, fair warning.”

“I'll accept your hug just this once.” Isak said, opening his arms as Eskild walked over from the other couch. “Don't get used to it.”

“You let Even hug you all the time.” Eskild whined, squeezing Isak far too tight.

“There's a lot of things I let Even do to me that I wouldn't let you do.”

Eskild gasped, “I am _scandalized_ , Isak Valtersen.”

* * *

**Wednesday 15.3.17**

“You look good in that jacket.” Isak said quietly to his boyfriend, touching the sleeve of the denim jacket in question. They were sitting at their usual lunch table with the rest of the boys, who were talking about girls or something. Isak wasn't very interested. “You should wear it more often.”

“Do you toot this look?” Even asked, jokingly modeling for Isak in his seat.

Isak grinned and nodded, “Oh yeah, total toot. Maybe even a shoot.”

“I'm honored, Raven.” Even teased.

“Oh, Raven, am I?”

“Mhmm, I'm Raja.”

“So you won and I'm stuck here getting robbed twice?”

“Yeah.”

“What the hell are you two talking about over there?” Magnus said loudly, disrupting their quiet conversation.

“Gay stuff, you wouldn't understand.” Isak shrugged, picking a chip out of the tiny bag in front of Even.

Magnus groaned loudly as the rest of the boys laughed.

“We'll tell you when you're older, Mags.” Even added. Jonas and Mahdi laughed even harder.

* * *

**Saturday 25.3.17**

The night season 9 premiered was a wild night for the Kollektivet. Especially because Drag Race wasn’t airing on television anywhere in Norway.

“I know it’s hard, Isak.” Eskild did his best to comfort his roommate, “But I’ve made it through many a season and Netflix releases the episodes the next day. We can make it through this.”

The next day, Noora managed to escape the festivities to hang out with the girls, but Linn had been forced out of her depression cave to watch.

The Meet The Queens videos had been pretty underwhelming, in Isak’s opinion. The only people he was excited to see was Charlie Hides, Alexis Michelle, and Shea Couleé, as they had the best promo looks.

Eskild wouldn't stop going on about the hot young queens, Farrah Moan, Aja, Kimora Blac, Valentina. Isak didn't really think they'd bring anything that impressive to the table.

Even had been pretty outspoken about his love for Sasha Velour and Nina Bonina Brown, despite everyone underestimating the latter. Needless to say, he smugly made sure everyone heard him say “I told you so!” when Nina won the first challenge.

Linn mostly just wanted to go back to bed.

* * *

**Sunday 4.2.17**

“You know, I’m not getting the whole Valentina hype.” Isak was grateful that watching Drag Race gave him something to bring up whenever he didn’t want to think about serious things. Like the fact that he and Even were really going to move out into their own flat together. They were literally going through Even’s room trying to decide what to keep for their new place. It was terrifying, and discussing the validity of Valentina’s potential was way less scary.

“Yeah, well,” Even snorted as he was sorting through his clothes to find ones he didn’t wear anymore. “You didn’t get the Katya hype either, and you see how that turned out.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “How many times are you going to bring that up?”

“Probably forever.” Even smirked.

Though he was clearly joking, that word stuck out in Isak’s mind. Forever. Even really thought they were going to be together long enough for him to keep bringing up Isak underestimating Katya _forever_.

“You can’t really blame me though.” Isak said after a while. “I mean, I knew she wasn’t going to win that season so when she left, it wasn’t as big a surprise as it was for you guys.”

“I’ll never forget that fateful night.” Even sighed, placing a hand over his heart. “I could tell by the editing that she was going to lip sync, but I truly, _truly_ never believed she’d go home.”

“And like, as funny as she is,” Isak continued, “Her looks weren’t very spectacular.” He could feel Even’s glare on him without even looking up from the Star Wars posters he was rolling up. “Shut up, they _weren’t_.”

“I don’t need to defend her aesthetic to you!” Even said, defensively. “You’ve seen her now, she likes ugly drag.”

“Yeah, except her bad looks weren’t ugly, they were poorly executed pretty.”

“You’ve got some nerve trashing my favorite queen when we’re supposed to be moving in together.” Even joked, balling up a shirt and throwing it at Isak.

Isak’s heart sped up, _again_. Would he ever calm down?

“Fine, back to Valentina.”

“Did you _see_ her wedding dress look, Isak?” Even implored. “That was _the_ best look of season 9, and it only happened in the second episode.”

“It’s true, even those nude shoes couldn’t ruin the look.” Isak agreed. “The way she sold it also helped. And her makeup, can you believe she’s only been doing drag for 10 months? That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“She not only won that runway, but she won the challenge too.”

“It was a cheerleading challenge, of course a young thin girl was going to win.” Isak scoffed, “That wasn’t a real Drag Race challenge.”

“If only Katya had been there…” Even sighed, clutching the shirt he was holding up to his chest. “She would have slayed it, my gymnastics queen.”

“But Valentina’s Lady Gaga look was boring.” Isak insisted, “And her promo look was okay, at best. So why would everyone love her so much? She hasn’t even shown that much potential?”

Even reached into his drawer and pulled out a white shirt and looked at it fondly, “You’re just too pessimistic, babe.”

“I’m _realistic_ .” Isak frowned as Even turned the shirt around to reveal the picture of Jesus on the front. “How did _you_ get that shirt? I’ve been looking for it.”

He moved to grab it from Even, but his boyfriend quickly pulled it away from his grasp. Isak reached for it again, only for Even to move it away from hims again.

“I need it back, Even,” Isak said, confused by his actions. “It was Eskild’s, he gave it to me when I first stayed over and he wants it back before I leave.”

“Well, he can’t have it.” Even insisted, folding the shirt with care and placing it in his box of important things.

Isak’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why is it so important?”

“You gave it to me when we got home after our first kiss.” Even said quietly, smiling sweetly at his boyfriend.

“After the neon party?” Isak frowned, he could have sworn Even had left when Noora arrived.

“No! In the pool!” Even’s smile dropped, he pushed Isak away from him. “You don’t remember our first kiss?!”

“Oh... fuck.” He attempted to move back in closer to Even, but just got pushed away again. He couldn’t tell if he was actually mad or not. “Wait, I’m sorry. Did we not kiss after that party?”

“I was about to kiss you but then Noora came in and ruined the moment!” Even explained, as if it was obvious.

“Okay, I was drunk as hell that night, so you can’t even blame me.”

“Oh, I most certainly _can_.” Even insisted, walking to the other side of his room.

“Even!” Isak whined, chasing the taller boy. “I blocked that night out because I spent most of it drunkenly making out with Emma and trying to like it.”

“Don’t try to make me feel guilty for being mad about this!” Even frowned, crossing his arms. “I specifically broke into some random person’s house so we could have our first kiss in a pool like Romeo + Juliet after my first attempt was so rudely ruined by your roommate! It was so romantic and beautiful and you don’t even remember it!”

Isak could tell he was mostly kidding, but still slightly hurt. “I do, Even!” He grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulders, making sure he didn’t try to move away again. “Of course I remember it, I just didn’t know if it was our first kiss or second.”

“Here I am, single-handedly creating romantic couple moments for us, and you don’t even care!” Even could never manage to keep acting like he was mad for long.

“Excuse you!” Isak crossed his arms, “I’ll have you know, I’m the master of romance. I’m the one who invited you back to my place and gave you my clothes and cuddled you for an entire day while talking about parallel universes and shit.”

“You’re comparing _that_ to kissing underwater?” Even teased, “I know you cried watching that movie, don’t lie to me.”

“Small things can be just as romantic, if not _more_ , than some big grand gesture, I’ll have you know.”

“Oh, I’ll be sure to take your advice,” Even bit his lip, moving in closer to Isak, “As you _are_ the master of romance.”

Isak tilted his head up, asking for a kiss. He all but melted when he received it. Would anything ever be better than kissing Even? Probably not. Good thing they were going to be together forever.

“I’ll be sure to tell Eskild he’s never getting that shirt back.”

* * *

**Saturday 8.4.17**

Though Isak and Even had been slowly moving all their stuff to their new place all spring break, they wouldn’t officially move out until the 10th, when their internet would be set up. In honor of the last Saturday night in the Kollektivet, Noora and Linn were forced to join their Drag Race viewing party.

“Think of it more like a Goodbye Isak party where we happen to watch Drag Race.” Eskild said, trying desperately to get Noora to stay.

“Yeah and all we’ll talk about is Drag Race.” Isak snorted.

“Why don’t you think of it as a Getting Your Room Back party?” Even suggested. Noora raised an eyebrow in consideration.

“Fine.” She said, taking a seat next to Linn, who was wrapped in a blanket cocoon on one side of the couch.

“Why do you hate Drag Race so much anyway?” Linn asked the question on everyone’s mind. “I mean, I just don’t like watching it with a bunch of people screaming all the time.” She shot a glare at Eskild specifically.

“Yeah, _Isak_!” Eskild screamed accusingly.

“I think the show is really sexist with its one definition of what a woman is and how a drag queen should look if he wants to be a woman.” Noora explained, crossing her arms. “I also don’t care for how fake reality TV is and watching a bunch of people fight all the time.”

“Noora, I have a question for you.” Even said politely.

“Uh… yes, Even?”

“You enjoy watching regular scripted shows and movies, right?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged.

“So what’s the difference between that fictional drama, and _this_ fictional drama?” Even asked, gesturing towards the screen, where the episode was paused and ready to play. “Is it just the fact that it’s marketed as reality?”

Noora frowned slightly, “Um…”

“I don’t want to put you on the spot or anything.” Even said, “I’m just saying.”

“No, I guess you’re right.” Noora said, her cheeks tinted pink. “I still don’t care for it, though.”

“And that’s completely fine!” Even reassured, “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

“Okay, so enough of this shit!” Eskild suddenly exclaimed, “Let’s get to the show.”

As the episode started playing, Isak smirked at his boyfriend. “You sure schooled her, Mr. Media Studies.” He commented quietly.

Even chuckled bashfully. “Did that turn you on?”

“Yeah, talk television genres to me, babe.” Isak jokingly flirted back.

Everyone got pretty wrapped up in the show pretty quickly. Even Noora was outraged, along with Even, when Nina Bonina Brown didn’t get any recognition for her robot character.

Isak was smug when Trinity won, as she was his pick to win since pretty early on.

“How nice of my queen, Trinity, to win on my goodbye party.” Isak boasted, “And she’ll continue to win, until she wins the whole thing.”

“I don’t understand you, Isak.” Eskild shook his head. “When someone says Trinity I still think “Trinity K Bonet” not “Trinity Taylor”. So she has obviously not been memorable enough yet.”

“Um, maybe you should pay attention, and you’d understand, Eskild.” Isak sassed. “She’s talented and she’s got the competitive drive to do everything it takes to win.”

“Yeah, you see what that did to Phi Phi…” Eskild sassed right back.

“How _dare_ you.”

* * *

**Friday 14.4.17**

One would imagine that after moving in together, a couple would get less touchy. That wasn't the case for Isak and Even. Something about the thrill of seeing each other constantly, and the domesticity of having a home together, just made them even more obnoxiously cute than they were before.

“You look so cute today.” Even said fondly, as he watched Isak shove his stuff into his locker at the end of the day. He ruffled Isak’s newly shorn locks, torn between missing the shaggy curls and loving the clean cut look. “You're like, perfect.”

Isak rolled his eyes, shutting his locker and leaning against it. “Oh yeah? Would you say I’m beautiful? That I look like Linda Evangelista and I’m a model?”

Even snorted, Aja’s rant in the recent episode’s Untucked had quickly become a meme in their home. They said it to each other, their appliances when they didn't work, behind the backs of people at flea markets, it was a horse that was soon to be dead and would probably still continue getting beaten.

“Yeah, everything about you is perfect. Did you stone those tights? Oh, you're smiling!”

“Are you two really quoting Drag Race to each other?”

Both Even and Isak jumped as their little bubble was popped by Mahdi’s voice. Then they realized what he said.

“Um, yes.” Even responded.

“I fucking knew I heard you talking about it at lunch the other day!” Jonas exclaimed, just making the whole situation more confusing.

“Why do you guys know that?” Isak asked.

“My older sister used to watch it and we only had one television so it just kind of became a thing in my house.” Mahdi explained, shrugging. “Even when she left for college, I just kept watching. It's entertaining.”

“Yeah, Eva and Ingrid and them used to be obsessed with it, remember Isak?” Jonas said. “You always hated it so much so I acted like I did too. But actually, Eva and I spent a good portion of our relationship watching it together.”

Isak frowned at the memories of himself just a few years ago, too afraid to even look at this gay show as if it would make him any more or less gay.

“At least you don't watch it, right Mags?” Isak asked, gesturing towards his remaining friend.

“Huh?” Magnus looked up from his phone, where he was probably texting Vilde. “Oh, um. It's a little embarrassing. When Isak came out, I did a little research on like, gay stuff. Because I wanted to relate to you. And I somehow ended up watching the whole show. It was pretty disappointing when I found out that you didn't even watch it.”

“What did you think, I was secretly some really flamboyant dude under all this?” Isak teased, “That I’d come out and suddenly show up to school in full makeup?”

“I don't know what I thought!” Magnus defended himself as his friends laughed at him.

“I think it's very sweet that you cared about Isak enough to try to learn about gay stuff, Magnus.” Even said, wrapping an arm around Isak’s neck and pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

“Guys, you do realize what this means right?” Jonas interrupted. “Drag Race viewing party nights.”

“Evak can host since they have their own place!” Magnus was practically bouncing with excitement.

“When did we agree to that?” Isak asked at the same time as Even saying “Yes! Come over tomorrow!”

The boys cheered as they completely ignored Isak and focused only on what Even said. Isak looked at his boyfriend, clearly offended.

“Come on, babe. I know you miss watching it with Eskild since you two both refuse to travel to each other once a week.”

“Don't expose my softness to my friends.” Isak stage whispered.

“We know you're soft, dude.” Mahdi scoffed. “I saw you crying when we all watched Titanic.”

“We were high!” Isak defended. “My eyes were irritated from the smoke.”

“When you met my cat for the first time, you ignored me for an hour to play with him instead.” Magnus said.

“Your cat is way cuter than you.” Isak shrugged.

“Yeah,” Jonas immediately hopped on the bandwagon, “Once you offered to go out and buy my sister chocolate even though you didn't have any money or any way of getting to a store just because she was crying.”

“I didn't know what to do, Jonas! She was _crying_!”

“Issy, you are the softest, sweetest boy I know.” Even teased, pressing kisses all over his boyfriend's face. “You're just going to have to accept this fact. Or I will whip out the real receipts.”

Isak pretended not to preen at the affection. “Fine.”

“So, party at your place tomorrow?” Mahdi asked.

“Sure,” Isak replied, “We can watch together as Trinity slays the entire competition.”

* * *

**Monday 17.4.17**

“Not that I wanted Trinity to go home, but did Charlie really have to disrespect the lip sync like that?” Isak was mid-rant as he approached the lunch table, looking at the rest of the boys expectantly.

“She's an old woman, Isak.” Even replied, clearly exasperated and having had this argument before.

Jonas bravely decided to join the conversation, “I saw online that she said she had a cracked rib from the cheerleading competition.”

“Then why didn't she say that? Instead of just saying,” Isak threw on an exaggerated old british woman voice, “”Oh, I knew if I had to lip sync I'd be going home. I was hoping I'd never have to.””

“Maybe she did and they edited it out to cover their asses for that cheerleading competition.” Mahdi suggested.

“That's what I said!” Even pointed towards Mahdi, “You have to remember that reality TV isn't actually real, it's all edited to be more entertaining just like any scripted show.”

“I'm just disappointed! She had so much potential!” Isak complained. “Every runway look she had was flawless! She would have killed the Snatch Game!”

“Aw, baby.” Even pouted, rubbing Isak’s back. “I know it sucks, but wouldn’t you rather have Charlie gone than Trinity. It’s not like she was ever going to win.”

“True.” Isak sighed. “I know this episode was hard on you too, babe. Those war flashbacks.”

“I know.” Even shuddered.  

“What do you mean?” Mahdi asked.

“Naya Rivera was the guest judge.” Isak explained, “Even had a pretty intense Glee phase.”

“I was _really_ into Glee…” Even reflected, staring off into the distance. “It was tragic, really.”

“Why?” Magnus asked.

“Don’t.” Isak said, shaking his head quickly. He grabbed Even’s head and pulled it into his chest, rubbing his hair delicately. “He’s already suffered enough.”

“In my defense though,” Even said when Isak released him, holding up a finger.

Isak groaned, “Babe, no.”

“Just, in my defense!” Even continued, “It was good the first three seasons!”

“What happened?” Magnus asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Magnus.” Isak sighed in disappointment, placing his head in his hands.

“Well, you see…”

Even was always fully ready to give the same Glee lecture that Isak had sat through at least once a month since he started dating Even. But at the same time, Isak was always fully ready to sit through it and love and support his boyfriend through this horrible betrayal.

* * *

**Saturday 22.4.17**

“Ugh,” Isak groaned, “I had high hopes for Nina, but if she’s gonna act like this…”

“Like what, Isak?” Mahdi asked. He was a strong supporter of any black queen.

Isak’s lip curled, “So negative. Like she seriously thinks everyone is out to get her.”

Mahdi frowned, “Yeah, well that kind of mindset makes sense for a dark skinned black gay boy, to be honest.” He turned so he was facing Isak instead of the screen.

“I know what it’s like to be a gay dude, Mahdi. I got over thinking everyone was out to get me.” Isak said, defensively. Everyone was turning their attention away from the television and towards the two fighting.

“Yeah, and I’m not gonna discredit your struggle because it was real, but no matter what, it’s _always_ harder for a black man to be gay than a white man. Especially if you’re dark skinned. People always expect you to be hyper masculine and tough and join a gang and start dealing drugs. I don’t blame Nina for acting like everyone is out to get her, because where she comes from, everyone probably _was_.”

“Well, Shea and Peppermint seem to be fine!” Isak insisted. Next to him, Even placed a hand on his arm, trying to get him to stop fighting.

“Everyone is different, Isak. Peppermint said herself that she grew up in a pretty accepting environment, so of course it was easier for her. And just because Shea managed to get lucky and grow confident despite the backlash she faced, doesn’t mean everyone like her needs to.”

“Uh, guys.” Magnus interrupted, he looked half impressed by everything Mahdi was saying and half completely lost. “I have a question.”

“Go ahead, Magnus.” Even nodded.

“Are we supposed to call the drag queens, like, she? Or he? Or like, them? I never really know what to say.” Magnus rambled. “Especially, like, the ones who have boy names as their drag names. I just automatically want to say he. Or sometimes if I’m referring to the person out of drag I’ll say he, but in drag I’ll say she. Is there no real answer?”

Everyone immediately burst into laughter at the question, the tension in the room significantly lessening.

“I think the best thing to do is just stick with she, Magnus.” Jonas answered, clapping his friend on the back. “Now, can we rewind? We missed so much shit during all that.”

* * *

**Wednesday 3.5.17**

It was wild how quickly every lunch room conversation between the boys turned from hooking up with girls to debating something about Drag Race. For the first time in a long time, Isak felt like he was consistently having fun with his friends.

“Obviously, Shea is gonna win.” Mahdi said, looking directly at Isak.

The other boy immediately took the challenge, “You know Trinity is going to murder her, Mahdi Disi.”

“I’m sorry,” Mahdi replied sarcastically, grinning wide, “Who has two challenge wins and who has one?”

“One of Shea’s was a partner win with Sasha, it doesn't count!” Isak insisted.

“Speaking of Sasha,” Even interrupted, “Why are we sleeping on her?”

“Even, sweetie…” Isak said, rubbing his boyfriend’s arm, “You know she’s not as good as Trinity or Shea, right?”

“She is too!” Even gasped, pulling his arm away. “Of all the weird queens I’ve ever liked, she’s the most polished, you have to admit that!”

“That’s true,” Isak nodded, “But even still, she’s just not as universally entertaining as Trinity and Shea.”

“Neither was Sharon Needles, but she won because she was the future of drag and they wanted her to represent it.”

“If we’re talking about top contenders, why aren’t we talking about Valentina?” Jonas asked.

Isak snorted, “Yeah, like Ms. I’ve Only Been Doing Drag For Ten Months is going to win.”

“It doesn’t matter how long she’s been doing it, she’s _good_.” Jonas insisted. “She was actually pretty funny during the Snatch Game and she has just as many wins as Trinity.”

“Guys, I really think Aja could win.”

“Shut up, Magnus.”

* * *

**Saturday 20.5.17**

Isak was surprised he didn’t get several noise complaints from his neighbors after the night Valentina got sent home. He lowkey already knew it was going to happen, the struggle of having to watch a show a day after it’s already aired, but no one wanted to believe it was true. He’d grown to love Valentina, even though he was a bit stubborn and didn’t like to admit that he was wrong about her at first.

When the episode started, they could immediately tell the rumors were true.

“Look at the way this is being edited,” Even pointed out mournfully.

“Maybe Nina will get sent home instead.” Isak replied.

Mahdi’s head immediately whipped around to glare at his friend, “What did I tell you about disrespecting my girl, Nina?”

“I’m just saying, would you rather have someone who is the embodiment of negative energy stay over someone who is the exact opposite?” Before Mahdi could answer, Isak continued, “I’m not saying Nina’s negativity isn’t justified, but it’s still there and clearly bringing others down with her.”

“Do you think she likes being like that?” Mahdi questioned.

Isak shrugged, “I mean, she’s not doing anything to stop it!”

“What do you want her to do? Change her entire attitude and personality in the middle of a competition? Under all that stress?”

Isak raised his hands in defeat, “Doesn’t matter now, does it? The show has been recorded for months.”

“Yeah, you just change the subject because you know you can’t fight back.” Mahdi sassed, “I won’t sit here and let Nina be slandered by white people.”

Then came the infamous lip sync. As the song started, Valentina did not make any move to remove her mask.

“What is she doing?!”

“Does she really think she can just get away with that?”

“What’s wrong with her mouth?”

The room went silent as RuPaul stopped the lip sync and asked Valentina to remove her mask. Then it began again.

“She doesn’t know the words?!”

“Did she really think she was just going to be safe and didn’t have to learn the words?”

“What the fuck is up with lip syncs this season?”

Then RuPaul said those fatal words “I thought you had what it takes to go all the way.” You could hear every heart in the room break.

“I can’t believe Valentina got Katya’d.” Magnus was the first to break the silence after the episode ended.

“You will _not_ disrespect Katya like that in our home!” Isak immediately shouted.

“Whoa,” Jonas said, “Even did you just transfer your voice to come out of Isak’s mouth.”

Even was just as shocked as everyone else to hear his boyfriend defend his favorite queen.

“Anyone with a _brain_ can tell that Katya actually _tried_ in her lip sync! Valentina didn’t even learn the words to hers! She deserved to go home! Katya _didn’t_ .” Isak ranted. “Katya got sent home after Kennedy _broke the rules_ against her by going off stage! Comparing Valentina’s performance to Katya is an insult to Katya, who was the actual winner of season 7 and there was no way in hell Valentina was going to win season 9.”

“Wow, Issy, tell us how you really feel.” Mahdi said as Magnus shrunk into himself after being told off.

“Even, you look like you’re about to jump him.” Jonas teased, but he was legitimately worried he was about to witness some live gay porn.

“I can’t believe my man would defend my queen like that.” Even said fondly, pretending to cry.

Isak rolled his eyes, “I just tell it like it is.”

* * *

**Saturday 1.6.17**

“As happy as I am that Nina is finally gone,”

“Isak, I will leave right now.” Mahdi declared. “And Even will come with me.”

“I will.” Even said, but still kept his hand firmly clasped in Isak’s.

“I’m about to say something _nice_ , thank you very much.” Isak hedged. “It’s total bullshit that she went home before Alexis.”

“Thank you!” Mahdi exclaimed, the rest of the boys following suit with agreements.

They were on the tram to get to Isak and Even’s place to watch the newest episode, and Isak couldn’t wait to watch Alexis Michelle go the fuck home.

“Her negative attitude pissed me off way more than Nina’s.” Jonas said.

“Seriously, like “oh why didn’t you tell me my outfit was ugly?”, that’s not their job, Alexis!” Isak rolled his eyes.

“The fact that she said that twice too,” Even added, “And threw her team under the bus during the pilot challenge. When Nina brought Valentina down, she _knew_ it and she admitted it.”

“Except Nina didn’t single-handedly ruin Valentina’s chances.” Mahdi said, not here for any Nina slander. “Valentina did just as bad in that challenge and she fucked up her own lip sync.”

“And Nina _still_ felt bad for it, unlike Alexis.” Isak finished. “So congrats, Mahdi, Alexis is officially my least favorite this season.”

“I thought you focused on quality of drag, not personality, Issy.” Mahdi teased, enjoying calling out Isak’s hypocrisy, because Nina’s makeup was amazing and no one could deny that.

“He’s got you there, babe.” Even said, knocking his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. "I mean, you used to argument to try to justify liking _Acid Betty_."

"Her looks were really good!" Isak frowned, this was an argument he and Even had time and time again and he never won it.

"She ruined that beautiful moment for Kimchi in Untucked and came for Trixie for no reason!" Even said, this fight was scripted at this point. "She's like the human embodiment of evil!"

"Yeah, Isak, you can't like Acid Betty despite her personality and not like Nina despite her personality." Magnus said, acting like he had been a part of the conversation all along and not off to the side texting Vilde. 

"I don't need to take this." Isak said.

* * *

**Thursday 8.6.17**

“Hey, I’ve been thinking…”

“What a terrifying way to start a sentence.” Even replied, only half joking.

They had been enjoying their dinner in a comfortable silence. Even had to leave to work the night shift in an hour and wouldn’t be back until late, so Isak had made them a lasagna to eat together before he left. Meaning, he took a frozen lasagna out of the freezer and put it in the barely working oven and somehow managed to burn it even though he followed the instructions exactly.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dump you during Pride month.” Isak joked.

“Oh, so I should be worried for next month?”

“Yeah.” Isak laughed, then immediately said, “No, I’ll probably never dump you.”

“Probably?”

“Well, I mean, if you like, kill someone, I might think about it.”

“You wouldn’t help me hide a body?” Even asked, almost too sincerely.

“Honestly… I probably would.” Isak whispered.

“Good.” Even replied. “Because, that’s why I’m dating you, you know. You like science and one day, you’re gonna know how exactly to cover up a murder.”

“It’s good to have long-term goals.”

“Exactly, you have to consider the future.”

“No, but seriously.” Isak said, after the laughter had subsided. “I’ve been thinking about it being Pride month.”

“Yeah?” Even asked, not wanting to push for anymore than Isak was ready to give.

“Yeah. You know, just like 6 months ago, I told Eskild that just because I liked you didn’t mean I was going to “go all gay pride”.” Isak made finger quotes around his past words, rolling his eyes at himself. “But now that I’m starting to be less scared of it all, I’ve found that it’s kind of… liberating? I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but like, when I call myself gay or hear other people call me that or say I have a boyfriend, it doesn’t make me panic like it used to. It makes me feel good. Because it’s true, and it’s who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it anymore. I finally get why Eskild always acted the way he did, it feels fucking _good_ , you know?”

“I know, babe.” Even nodded, failing to hold back the huge proud grin that took over his face. “I know I seemed so confident about my sexuality when we first met, but I was actually terrified of liking you so much, after what happened with Mikael. Especially because it made me question if what I felt for Sonja was ever real. But you know me, I can never just ignore my feelings. Just because the past two people I liked were boys doesn’t mean I have to be gay. I still like girls, even though I’m completely loyal to you. It feels good to say I’m pansexual and feel like I have a slot that I fit into the way I could never fit into straight or gay.”

“It’s like, crazy to me that just a few months ago, I was so adamant on not ever accepting myself.” Isak shook his head in disbelief. “I truly had no idea how good it would make me feel. If you mentioned going to Oslo Pride to me in September, I would have lost my mind. Now I actually want to go! It’s just a few days after my birthday this year, you know?”

“You should have known all along, being born in Pride month and all.” Even smiled. “Eskild will be elated if you mention going to Oslo Pride, you know.”

“I know, the thing is, I want him to be excited. Fuck, I’m excited too.” Isak looked like he couldn’t even believe the words coming out of his own mouth.

“What brought this all on?”

“What else? Drag Race.” Isak scoffed. “That whole Gayest Ball Ever episode last week.”

“Ah yes, Sasha Velour getting robbed of a solo win for the second week in a row.”

“Do not act like Trinity didn’t deserve to win the makeover challenge.” Isak pointed his fork at Even threateningly.

“It’s not that she _didn’t_ , it’s just that Sasha’s was more endearing.” Even said, rehashing the same argument they’d been having since that episode. “Besides, you _know_ Sasha deserved to win last week. They had literally nothing bad to say about any of her looks. They said she was _too fashionable_.”

“No, you’re totally right. Shea’s Village People look was amazing, but her rainbow look wasn’t even rainbow at all. It was a pink dress.”

“It’s fine, Sasha will get her win when she wins the whole thing.” Even smirked.

Isak raised his eyebrows, “Oh yeah?”

“I mean, she is the only one who’s never lip synced for her life...”

“That’s a low blow,” Isak shook his head, “And to think I was going to post a cute selfie of us for Pride.”

Even pouted, “I’d take it back, but then I’d be a liar.”

Isak ends up posting the picture of him and Even anyway. Mostly because he’s found these pictures from when they first started dating and Isak had told Eskild not to post them because they weren’t official yet but he still kept them all on his phone to cherish, and he felt like it was a bit poetic to post one now for Pride month. Also because deep down inside, Isak knew that Trinity Taylor would win season 9 anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> isak: loves technically good queens, wants trinity to win s9, kimchi, chad michaels, bianca del rio, raven was robbed twice, april carrion was disrespected, raja, ivy winters, ginger?, alyssa?, courtney, roxxy???, acid betty?
> 
> even: loves weird queens, cares more about personality than quality of drag, yara sofia?, sharon even tho she sucks now, alaska, jinkx, adore, KATYA WAS ROBBED, max, milk, trixie, bob and kimchi together would make the perfect drag queen, thorgy the norwegian drag queen, nina bonina brown sympathizer, sasha for s9
> 
> jonas: appreciates a political and educated queen, honestly just here for a laugh and wants to be entertained, bianca del rio, alyssa edwards, willam, bob, sasha, latrice?, adore
> 
> magnus: the kind of drag race fan that loves young fishy queens, thinks the whole point is looking like a woman, aja, farrah, violet, fame?, pearl, "magnus shut up you like /laganja estranga/", adore, courtney act, carmen, valentina your smile
> 
> mahdi: soft for colored queens because they always get robbed, bob, shea for s9, vivacious, latrice, dida ritz, "nina bonina brown disrespect won’t be tolerated isak"
> 
> eskild: lives for drama and loves shady ass queens, "she may have been the bitch but she made that season interesting", would probably like young fishy queens, a willam S T A N


End file.
